


Quiet

by bowsofwrath



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Animal Death, Euthanasia, I'm Sorry, Tearjerker, Tissue Warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-12
Updated: 2015-12-12
Packaged: 2018-05-06 07:12:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5407697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bowsofwrath/pseuds/bowsofwrath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Life is a series of dogs" - George Carlin.</p>
<p> If you had asked Derek if he had ever seen a dog thoroughly ashamed of itself he would have told you that wasn’t possible. He knows it’s possible now and it was heart breaking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Quiet

“Life is a series of dogs” George Carlin

Derek Morgan was acquainted with death. They met in a convenience store when he was just a boy. Then they ran into each other again in an empty lot in Chicago a few years later. Now death had him on speed dial and sent him greeting cards on major holidays, but their relationship was still mostly professional. Today he and death had an appointment.

Clooney was a very old dog. It had been a couple of years since Clooney went with him on one of his runs. He often told the dog that the gray around his muzzle made him look distinguished. “George isn’t so brown anymore himself” Derek would say. Clooney would still look up at him with a light in his eyes and a tongue lolling out of his mouth. Derek didn’t think anything of it really. Of course Clooney was slowing down. Everyone was susceptible to the passing of time. 

It was the past year or so he really noticed things with his good buddy really start to deteriorate. Clooney was having more and more trouble getting up. Derek had built him a ramp to go up and down the back steps. There was a time when Derek could barely get into the house after a few days away on a case due to all the jumping and barking Clooney would greet him with. Then he was greeted more with tail wags and kisses. Now Derek could close the door behind him before Clooney made his way to his side.

Derek had been very lucky to have a neighbor who would watch Clooney when he was away. She had been the one to let him know initially that there were more accidents happening in the house. For a while an extra trip to Derek’s to let Clooney out on her lunch hour curbed the problem. With her work schedule the lunch time trips became more difficult so Derek had settled on puppy pads.

Then Clooney couldn’t last the night without going out. When Derek was home Clooney would wake him up at least twice to go out. Then Clooney stopped waking him up. Derek would have to go look for the dog in the morning often finding him in the laundry room. When he was younger and got into mischief he would go sit in there and look sorry for being bad. 

Now he cowered in the corner when he hadn’t even made it to the puppy pads. If you had asked Derek if he had ever seen a dog thoroughly ashamed of itself he would have told you that wasn’t possible. He knows it’s possible now and it was heart breaking.

The Vet told Derek there wasn’t much they could do. Clooney had become an incontinent old man with cataracts and arthritis. He told Derek that he should take Clooney home and give him cuddles and supermarket rotisserie chicken which was his favorite treat until Clooney let him know it was time.

That morning Clooney didn’t get up when Derek came to the kitchen. He watched him make his coffee with dull eyes. He lifted his head when Derek opened the back door but just regarded him sadly. “Not having a good day old man” Derek asked? He crouched down next to the dog and scratched his ears. That didn’t perk him up as much as it usually did.

Clooney gave him a small whine and huffed air out of his nose before laying his head back down on his paws. Derek went to the refrigerator and got him a piece of chicken. Clooney sniffed it but didn’t eat it. Derek tried with the chicken skin but got the same reaction. Clooney never refused chicken skin. It had taken months for Derek to figure out that Clooney only got into the garbage if there was chicken skin inside. He had to put it in a separate bag and take it to the outside garbage cans right after dinner or risk a huge mess.

That was when he decided to call the Vet. He put Clooney’s blanket across the back seat of his car before he carried the dog outside. Derek was never able to hide they were going to vet from the dog. Clooney always put up a struggle, not today.

Derek sat with his dog on the floor of the waiting room. Clooney laid across his legs half wrapped in his blanket. He kept licking Derek’s fingers and whining like he always did when Derek was particularly upset. Derek kept his other hand on the dog’s head still stroking his ears.

The other patrons of the Vet’s office offered sympathetic looks. One woman sat in a chair next to them holding her small dog before she looked down. As soon as she registered the look on Derek’s face she got up and rushed to the other side of the waiting room clutching her dog to her chest, as if the death would somehow rub off Clooney and attach itself to her baby. No one wanted to be too close.

He hadn’t even thought of work. Today was supposed to be about paperwork and catching up on files. They hadn’t had a case for almost two weeks and Derek didn’t have any paperwork left. He pulled the phone from his pocket.

“Hello” Hotch’s voice came from the other end of the line. “Morgan, are you okay?”  
Derek didn’t realize he hadn’t said anything for a couple of moments. “Yeah, I’m here, um...” he cleared his throat. “I’m not going to be able to come in today.”

“Are you alright? You don’t sound like yourself” Hotch asked? Sometimes Derek wondered if just once he could sneak something past the older profiler. 

“I’m fine. I’m at the Vet with Clooney.” He wasn’t able to hide the tremor in his voice. He was not going to cry and he defiantly was not going to cry on the phone with his boss even if they were friends.

“I see” Hotch knew that there were issues with Clooney. The pieces fit into place in his mind. “I’ll let the team know you’re not coming in. You know if you need to you can call me later.”

It was an odd offer. Derek huffed in mirthless laughter. Here was Hotch, a man who lost his wife in one of the most dramatic ways he had ever heard of, offering to talk him through the loss of his dog. “I’ll be fine. See you tomorrow.” He hung up before Hotch could say anything else he didn’t trust himself to speak anymore.

The Vet Tech led them into one of the exam rooms. Derek had to carry Clooney. “You can place him on the table or if you want you can hold him.” The Vet Tech said. “It’s your choice.”

Derek looked at the cold metal exam table and tightened his grip on Clooney. “I think I’ll just hold him.” The Vet Tech nodded and he sat on the floor the dog once more in his lap. Derek refused to cry. He was not going to cry. That wasn’t a tear that slid down his cheek. It was just his imagination. It will go away.

No matter how hard he tried to keep his composure it was not working. Clooney whined again with more urgency. He lifted himself up on his front legs obviously in pain, nearly poked Derek in the eye with his nose and began licking his face. Clooney’s need to comfort him was the thing that broke Derek.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry” Derek sobbed burying his face in the dog’s fur. He didn’t really know what he was apologizing for but he meant it. Clooney kept trying to lick whatever part of Derek he could reach. When he heard the door softly open and close he didn’t try to distance himself, try and tame his emotions. He couldn’t.

“Don’t worry Mr. Morgan this happens to everyone no matter how big or tough” The Doctor said. He joined Derek and Clooney on the floor. The Vet Tech had come back in with the tray with the injection and a box of tissues.

Derek let the Doctor take Clooney’s front leg in his hand. “I’m just going to put the IV line in” the Doctor explained. Derek had read the pamphlet at their last appointment, made all the arrangements an even paid the bill. He was still thankful that the Doctor took the time to tell him what was going to happen.

“Okay, we are ready.” Derek nodded. Everything after that was the longest and shortest few moments of his life. Clooney just laid down and closed his eyes. That was it. A few more breaths and he went limp in Derek’s arms. It was the most peaceful death Derek had ever witnessed. 

The Vet Tech took Clooney blanket and all when Derek gave her the okay. He had decided in the car to let the blanket be cremated with the dog. Clooney loved it and he was never going to be able to use it again. He didn’t really want to have it around the house.

Derek walked out of the office with the box of tissues making sure he looked at no one as he left. He didn’t want to think about the fact these people had probably heard him cry. He himself had heard it before once while waiting to get Clooney’s teeth cleaned. 

For the first time Derek drove home from the vet without his buddy in the car with him. When he got home there was no one there to greet him. No happy barking or the sound of paws on the hard wood floor. For the first time in a very long time Derek’s house was truly quiet.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what kind of dog Clooney is. I only saw him mentioned once in season one. I would assume he is a large dog. I have seen other stories where he was either a German Shepard or a Rottweiler.


End file.
